old macdonald had a farm (where there was a lot of cow shit :))

Date:Wed, 7 Apr 2004 11:08:19 -0700 (PDT)
From:"Melli Knee" <melliknee@yahoo.com
Subject: old macdonald had a farm (where there was a lot of cow shit :))
Hola chicos y chicas,
I realize it hasn't been that long since my last update but I had a lot to write about so sorry for cluttering up your e-mail boxes. Life in Jesus land continues to be extrememly interesting but also extrememly rewarding.
I started my permanent work as an English/music/art/general help assistant/teacher/substitute, which basically means they send me anywhere they need me and I often have to come up with lesson plans as I walk up the stairs. I work in one of the YMCA's elementary schools in a district called Rimac.
So far, I've averaged singing 'Old MacDonald' 17 times a day and 'Head Shoulders Knees and Toes' somewhere around 42. If anyone has any song suggestions to break up the monotony, please let me know. I work at the school 4 days a week until early afternoon, and then I go to the Independencia, one of the poorest areas of Lima, three or four afternoons a week.
Fridays are 'Jesus Day' (ok technically it's not called that) when the entire missionary staff (yes, I'm part of the missionary staff) meets for a three hour bible lesson. Fun... I actually 'came out' to a few of the volunteers about being Jewish (not the German ones, they might never talk to me again if they knew I didn't believe in Jesus). I felt like I was lying all the time and denying a huge part of my identity be telling people I was Christian. I was miserable--one night I actually cried over a pizza with ham and bacon ('I'm just so happy to be eating pizza!' I said).
The final straw was during a staff weekend at dinner during the obligatory grace. The international volunteers were sitting with all of the big wigs of YMCA Peru, and I mean ALL of my various bosses of different parts of the program. One of the Peruvians led 'El Señor que estas en el cielo' in Spanish and then one of the Germans led it in German and then they turned to me and asked me to lead it in English in front of everyone.
Well, seeing as 'Our Father Thou Art in Heaven' was somehow overlooked during my 12+ years of Hebrew School education, I had to admit I didn't know it. The place was silent for the first time all evening. Everyone was incredulous. How could ANYONE NOT KNOW THIS PRAYER????? Umm, yeah, that was uncomfortable...
Later that night I decided to come out of my Jewish closet. We were sitting around talking and when the conversation (naturally) turned to G-d and Jesus. I said: 'I don't believe in Jesus because I'm Jewish.'
Or, at least, that's whet I thought I siad. I was so nervous that I pronounced the 'u' sound in judio a little strongly so it came out 'jodio' which is, as I later learned, Peruvian slang (Carine have you ever heard of it? It was the first time for me).
What I actually said was 'I don't believe in Jesus because I'm a whore.' oops... Me being Jewish was such not a big deal I wish I had done it earlier. Not only were the people there more or less OK with it, surprised, but ok after a few minutes, one of the venezualeans was like 'I also have something to say--I'm an aetheist.'
It was like national religous coming out day. In other Jewish news, I spent Shabbos dinner with Carine's huge extended family. At my first kippah sighting in San Isidro, the swanky Jewish part of town, I almost cried. It was so good to be with 'my' people again, to hear the familiar Shabbos tunes, to talk in Hebrew with the various Israelis there... It was a little bit like coming home to some extent. But over the course of the night, as people in the temple found out the neighborhoods I am working in which are the complete opposite of Newton-like San Isidro, they asked me over and over 'why would to want to work THERE?'
Like most upper-class Limenos (people in Lima) most of them had never set foot in Independencia or Rimac. The Jewish community here, like most South American Jewish communities or areas where Jews are VERY much in the minority, is very closed, and I got the same feeling from them as I did many people in Israel who berated me for leaving Israel, almost as if I was abandoning 'my' people.
These are 'my' people in San Isidro--the people of my history, my culture, my soul--we share a special connection because we share a religion. But the other volunteers in the YMCA, as different as they may be from me, are also 'my' people, because they understand this work and they understand me in a way the Jews of San Isidro never can.
So when you have two very different places you belong, were do you call home? Friday nights I eat multiple courses of delicious Peruvian foods with exotic fruits and apple pie for dessert. Saturday mornings I work with children, some as young as seven or eight, who are forced to work on the street selling candy or cookies so their families can scrape together a few extra soles ($$) to eat.
Friday night I am surrounded by people dressed in their Shabbos finery, Saturday morning I see these kids wearing the same threadbare shirts week after week.
I feel hypocritical wherever I go--sometimes the decision to choose one over the other seems so clear, but mostly I am just confused and lost. And I know I can't live one foot in both worlds forever. The fact that eventually I will have to choose one world or the other is becoming increasingly clear to me as a result of living here.
But I'm happy to be here where I'm learning so much every day. People are nice, salsa and merengue are fun, and the entire country shuts down for futbol games (last night Peru lost to Columbia it was absolutley heartbreaking). And of course, I am now EXCELLENT at singing Old MacDonald.
Until next time, stay happy, healthy and enjoy springtime. Send me lots of e-mails and those of you that are about to finish college enjoy the last few weeks.
Cuidanse (take care) mucho amor,
Melanie
P.S. I did end up seeing the Passion of Christ... in a movie theater called Jesus Maria. Only in Peru...