no more jesus... no more cows... melanie returns to lexington

Date: Mon, 14 Jun 2004 23:57:57 -0700 (PDT)

Subject: no more jesus... no more cows... melanie returns to lexington

Hola chicos y chicas,

Well guys, I guess this is my last e-mail from abroad, as I make my triumphant return home (to a cheering crowd waiting at Logan airport, I hope hint hint) after surviving six months of cow milking and four months of Christian missionary work. I hope everyone is well at home or wherever you are, and enjoying their summers.

Please just wait one more week before you have the big summer parties... I'll be home in three days.

Feelings about coming home are definitely mixed... While I'm so ready not to sing any more 'Jesus es un Amigo' songs or listen to 'En el number de Jesus oramos Amen' (In the name of Jesus we prayAmen) at all hours of the day and night, the fact that my 'gap' year is coming to an end is kind of sad.

It's been such a crazy year--from one extreme to the other and so much in between--I don't know if I'm ready to give up the romance and adventure of exploring new places and cultures around me (oh who amI kidding a romantic dinner for me is eating at the severely overpriced Domino's here down the street and adventure is trying pizza with anchovies). And also there's the fact that I haven't written an essay nor done any school work in over thirteen months now. That will definitely be a shock when I go back...

Things in Peru are definitely winding down, my last day as an art slash music slash english teacher was today and my last day of the recreation program is tomorrow. On Thursday night I fly to Miami and I'll be back on the home soil of Boston Friday morning around 11:00, from which we will go directly to Anna's Taqueria of Porter Square. Not much has happened since my last e-mail, life's continuing in Peru, each day bringing me closer to resuming my old boring life in Lexington.

A few weeks ago, sick of the same chicken with potatoes and rice that I eat every day I organized 'Israeli Food Night,' a chance to open the hearts and taste buds of the severely deprived missionary staff to the wonderful world of felafel. I finally found the falafel restaurant in Lima in the rich touristy section of Miraflores. The entire Mission staff piled into the big yellow van that I call 'Camionetta de Dios' (Truck of G-d) to Miraflores for a night filled with the best felafel and shwarma I have ever eaten. This includesfelafel from Israel--Jordanian felafel is incredible! We also tried nargila...Yes, that's right, I had an entire Christian missionary staff eating shwarma and SMOKING NARGILA. At the rate we're going, hell will soon freeze over, and the Red Sox will actually win the World Series this year (I actually have no idea whatsoever how the Red Sox are doing).

Speaking of impossible missions, I decided to crash Kabbalat Shabbat one Friday night at my synagogue, and although I hadn't asked for written permission two weeks in advance with a photocopy of their passports, I brought my non-Jewish German friends to Friday night services. The first time I brought two Germans there was no problem. The guards asked for their identification, they quizzed me to see if I am Jewish enough to enter, as they always do, and they let us in. It was fine--I was proud to share some of my culture, and the Germans had really wanted to see what real live Jews look like in action (to see that, I told them, you have to come to a NERUSY dance). And the people at the synagogue, at least on the surface, seemed welcoming to them. Later at dinner with my adopted family I got a few comments from various adopted uncles but that's to be expected (Carine not the ones related to you).

I thought I had made the mistake of underestimating people again, thinking the people at the synagogue couldn't handle something new and different, the same way I didn't think people in the Y could handle me being Jewish. I was proved wrong, however. The second time I brought two different Germans (there are five in total) and they didn't let us in. After few comments such as 'We don't like strangers' I found myself sobbing in front of the gate of the synagogue with two born again Christian Germans who just wanted to learn about different religions.

All the difficulties of these past three months, the isolation, the loneliness, the millions of compromised I've had to make in terms of my faith, came flooding back to me--concentrated on this point where I realized, among other things, that I was more welcome and at home in the Christian community at the YMCA than in this community of my own people. I do find it funny, though, to think of all of those years I cried and screamed and fought not to go to Hebrew School and now I was crying because they wouldn't let me into the synagogue.

I guess times change. But how can these truly be my people, who leave me and my friends out in the cold, while they determine among themselves if I am fit to enter the synagogue? 'This is a place of worship, not an exclusive club,' I told them. Wasn't it Abraham Joshua Heschel that said 'There is no monopoly on holiness'? I understand the need for security, but this goes above and beyond.

Also a challenge in terms of surviving my last few weeks in Peru with an intact Jewish identity: Last week the topic of our workshop with a group of adolescents who are completing a leadership course to do community service in their own community, was abortion. Working with this group is one of my favorite things in Peru because they are practically the same age as me so it's fun to hang out with them, as opposed to hanging out all day every day with grimy five year olds. Also because I believe it's an incredible tool for community development--to train teenage leaders in some of the poorest communities so that they can continue community motivation and development with the economic support and professional experience of the YMCA even after the middle class Peruvians and the international volunteers have returned to their countries. Anyways, there I was, Melanie Anne Lidman, nineteen years old, sitting in the same room where the organization I have given four months of my life to, systematically brainwashing my friends in the name of saving babies to become Jesus' little sunbeams later in life. Me, Melanie, who refused to buy Domino's Pizza for the better part of the five years because I heard a rumor that they supported pro-life charities, is working for an organization that is not only pro-life, but brainwashing my friends in to thinking this also.

In the prayer that the staff does before every program the leader said 'Please, G-d, give us strength because we know that there is one person here (hmmmm, I wonder who?) who does not agree with Your opinion on the gift of life. Please give her strength to continue with us without presenting conflicting opinions to the adolescents which will confuse them.' Ok then, what am I supposed to do? Afterwards when I tried to argue with the staff, talking about all the normal things, women's right to choose, etc, one of the leaders said to me 'Every cell of every body is a gift straight from Jesus who died for our sins.' At this point I just gave up completely. For someone who's been dead for so long it's a little scary the power he still has and as soon as he comes into the conversation I just throw up my hands and walk away, it's not even worth it to try to discuss anymore.

Well, I guess that's it for my stories from abroad. I can't believe I'll be home in eighty five hours... it doesn't seem real yet. I will miss having a pool and a gymnasium and a restaurant and a basketball court and twenty four hour security and a preschool through 12th grade school in my own house, but I definitely won't miss the 6:00 AM tae bo classes in the dance studio next to my room. I will miss the people, the pollution, the Independencia, the aggressive street sellers, the store owners who will advise you to go to a competitor's store to get a better price, the warmth of the Peruvian people... yes, I will especially miss the people, and my friends here.

I wanted to thank each an every one of you on my e-mail list (and some of your parents, Hannah, Liz, Aviva) for putting up with my ramblings from abroad. Especially here in Peru when I was very often feeling lonely and isolated, your e-mails in reply always made me smile. Danny Shain wins the prize for replying to every single mass e-mail I sent out this year... I don't know if that just means he spends too much time in front of the computer or what (just kidding Danny).

I'll see all of you Americans in three days and Israelis hopefully sooner rather than later... I said goodbye to some of you in early August it's crazy to think so much time has passed since I last saw youguys. So I guess here is the part where I sign off. Thank you all again, and stay happy and healthy.

Cuidanse (take care)

Con amor (with love),

Melanie

'Regrese a mi casa mas vieja, despues de recorrer el mundo.'

I returned to my house older, after wandering aroundthe world.

--Pablo Neruda

Believe in me help me believe in anything because I wanna be someone who believes....

--Counting Crows 'Mr Jones'